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If you think that video games are too violent, wait until you hear about Face Slap.

A Chronological History of Britain
Learn about the rise of England, Scotland, and Wales in episodes of the British History Podcast that cover the so-called Dark Ages.

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If you think that video games are too violent, wait until you hear about Face Slap.

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Ok, I know at the end of that last episode I kinda sorta promised you a fight. And we are definitely going to have one.
But we are pausing real quick to cover some SERIOUSLY good gossip…and possibly a murder?

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All of those promises Rufus made to be a better man had finally convinced God. After about two months of being bedridden, the King finally recovered from his mysterious illness.
And now that the Divine had delivered its side of the bargain… well, there was really no point to any of those promises anymore. So Rufus immediately set about invalidating all his penitential acts.



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We don’t really know precisely what Henry got up to once he fled Mont Saint Michel. What few records we have are incomplete and some contradictory. But from those records we /are/ able to glean some details… and when we take the accounts in total, what immediately becomes clear is that, just because Henry was in exile, it didn’t mean he had accepted his defeat. He had plans and he set them in motion.
His first plan was to have sex. Like… lots and lots of sex.


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After Robert kicked Henry out of Rouen, the Duke tried to restabilize his position in Normandy.
And his first move was to make an alliance with Robert of Belleme.

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You’ve probably heard the phrase “it takes money to make money,” and while usually the person telling you that is just trying to sell you something you don’t need….there is some truth to it. At least in the way our economy works. It’s also true of how feudal economies worked.

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We’ve been spending a lot of time with Rufus and Robert. And that was the way things were back in the 11th century, too. Rufus and Robert got the attention, while Henry… the youngest, and apparently most forgettable brother… was often left out. And this reality was made most clear when their father died… and, despite holding vast territories, the Conqueror didn’t bother to give Henry a single hide of land.