Re: My Evening with Sweaty Chainmail… and other things.

Home Forums TV and Film Film Club Film Suggestions- August 2012 Re: My Evening with Sweaty Chainmail… and other things.



IRONCLAD… A review.Okay, before i get myself pummelled by the lovers of this movie, i would like to point out that I watched it from start to finish and have the following to say about it:1. Superb cast, however, if the movie producer claims that it is historically accurate, could they please actually make it historically accurate. The scene where the leading "Lady" hoiks up her skirts to the Knight Templar and dresses with bare shoulders and participates in "battle", raised my hackles somewhat and started an unfortunate chain of events in my mind that left me irritable. In reality, she would have been confined to her "solar". The movie looked like it had a sizeable budget, yet the money was spent on a crap script and crap props. The "very large guy's" fake stomach was hideously fake. Did an already big guy NEED a fake stomach to tell the audience that the character was obese? Did the "Lady" need heaving bosoms and halter neck leather and velour with studs? The only thing she lacked was a bridle and saddle.  2. Hubert Gruber (Guy Siner) from Allo Allo is in it. Extra points for that!3. I found the film overall entertaining, but the cast was let down hideously by the script. Some of the lines were positively cringe-worthy. Some of the characters were left "undeveloped" and i felt like i did not know what was going on, or what the plot was until halfway through the film. I knew that King John was a bad guy and I understand Magna Carta, but yikes, did that movie take its time and the characters obviously had a past history that was ill-elaborated on! 4. I think that the lead Norse "bad-guy" is the Grim Reaper from the Stupid Deaths sketch in Horrible Histories... another load of points awarded! 5. I was expecting Professor Brian Cox to be starring in it. By god was i wrong. 6. It DIDN't have to be as gory as it was. Another substitute for lack of script. The movie, by its lack of decent script, inspired me to actually research the real story... if that can be classed as a positive. I will watch it again after a big night out on the turps and see if i feel the same about it. Sorry, but this movie did not live up to the IMDB credits or blurb expectations for me. Still, it is ions infront of "Valhalla Rising".